Essays and Sketches

My first lie, and how I got out of it -- The turning-point of my life -- My first literary venture -- My début as a literary person -- Niagara -- Science vs. luck -- The late Benjamin Franklin -- The petrified man -- George Washington's Negro body-servant -- Lionizing murderers -- A new crime -- About barbers -- Running for governor -- A mysterious visit -- Curing a cold -- The bee -- A majestic literary fossil -- At the appetite cure -- My watch -- Mental telegraphy -- Mental telegraphy again -- Concerning tobacco -- Does the race of man love a Lord? A telephonic conversation -- Wit inspirations of the "Two-Year-Olds" -- Concerning the Jews -- Extracts from Adam's diary -- Eve's diary -- Taming the bicycle -- How to make history dates stick -- English as she is taught -- Italian without a master -- Italian with grammar -- The awful German language -- Fenimore Cooper's literary offenses -- William Dean Howells -- Is Shakespeare dead? -- A helpless situation -- The first writing-machines -- A cure for the blues -- A petition to the Queen of England -- Concerning chambermaids -- The portier -- Heidelberg castle -- The college prison -- The German Chicago -- At the shrine of St. Wagner -- About all kinds of ships -- The danger of lying in bed -- My boyhood dreams -- A burlesque biography -- The death of Jean.